All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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