I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
