hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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