bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
