just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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