this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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