i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
