I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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