I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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