I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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