Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
