and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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