you're like a bully in the Christmas story
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
