I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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