if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
