you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize