omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
