just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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