just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Be still, my beating vagina.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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