Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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