somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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