I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize