i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
