My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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