Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
