Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize