Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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