Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
