I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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