all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
