u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i think i have two assholes
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
