well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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