Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
