Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
