He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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