There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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