it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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