ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
