You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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