I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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