shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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