you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
