So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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