Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
