she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
