Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize