I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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