She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
