Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
