You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
