too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
