Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
