i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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