i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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