Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Couch. On fire.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
