first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
