Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
