I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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