and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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