I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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