shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
