I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize