Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
