nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
