Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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