dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
