Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
