remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
