You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
