ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
