I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
