I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
