After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
