I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
