Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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