Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
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